26 June 2019

one year hiatus

It has been nearly a year since I last blogged. Ten months, to be exact (well, give or take a few days). So much has happened in that time, and yet it does not feel like ten months could have past since I last blogged. Of course, I have occasionally gone months without writing, simply because I was too busy living (or so I tell myself; it could just be laziness :P). And yet, I have always tried to come back, largely because I want to record these days with the twins, this phase of life, I want to capture so many moments and memories, and keep them somewhere safe, to revisit later on.

Today's post is inspired by a friend who started blogging again, also after some time off. Going through her last few posts made me question my own lack of writing, of activism, since being in India. It is strange, but since moving here, I have continued my work with a human rights group based in HK, but have not taken much interest in the human rights scene here. Initially I was simply too overwhelmed, but then I slowly became immune.. there is no dearth of abuse and rights violations here.. add corruption and insane bureaucracy, and it is a wonder that anything good could possibly happen. The average middle class person is just trying to get on with their life, preoccupied with their daily concerns regarding their family and work. The majority of Indians seem hardly concerned with matters of policy and change. Or let me rephrase that: they are not concerned enough to either pay attention, or to do anything about it. I think that I, unfortunately, seem to fit into this category. This is very unlike me, the me that I was in HK.. India has corrupted me in many ways it would seem.

On the other hand, I have far less time and mental energy than I did when I was single and childless. Does that take away some of the sting and guilt? Yes, it really does. I will, however, try to participate a little more in community affairs, and model good social responsibility for the twins.

Speaking of less time, I am slightly out of work these days, and thus have more time on my hands than usual. It has been interesting and depressing searching for part time work. It has also made me start to think about different career paths.. teaching is more appealing now than ever before, although without any qualifications, it seems hard..