15 July 2007

uncertainty

the past couple of years, i have felt that many things i took for granted as an undergrad, no longer hold up:
there is no such thing as happily ever after.
i cannot change the world.
love does not conquer all.
working hard is not always enough to get where you want to be.

is this part of getting older? i am no longer as idealistic, as hopeful, as faithful as i once was.

life post cairo is so much more confusing; questions to which i have no answers simply increase as the weeks go by. in other words, i have lost all certainty. the world is no longer only black or white. sometime ago i read a post asking how we measure our lives. as an undergrad, it was by the number of credits i took each semester, the new friends i met, the different jobs i had, the new places i explored. today, these measurements no longer hold. and if i use conventional norms as a measurement, i find myself sadly lacking. this would never have bothered me before. now it does.