Eid 2020

Not only did Ramadan fly by, but it has been six days since Eid. Even with the coronavirus and the lockdown, time continues chugging along. 

Ramadan this year was special. We were home-bound, together with my parents. I haven't spent an entire Ramadan with them since I moved to India, so it was lovely. And the twins, amazingly, fasted for all 30 days, of their own accord, and with minimal fuss. I was amazed, and so proud. Alhumdolillah!

While I missed praying in the masjid, I was happy to not iron a single piece of clothing the entire month, as well as forego the stress of getting out of the house and reaching the masjid on time, finding parking, as well as jagah (space) to pray and eat! (On the other hand, I have to admit that feeding seven people at home while keeping the house clean was a significant challenge that weighed heavily initially!)

The month taught me that anything is possible, there are learning and growing opportunities everywhere, and that faith and hope make the world go round. 

**
India seems to be opening up and ending the nation wide lockdown, albeit slowly. The next few months will most likely have new challenges and norms; may we face them with all the grace and strength gathered from Ramadan. Eid Mubarak!

laughter is the best medicine

The twins' laughter is music to my soul. I want to bottle it up and just keep listening. The expressions on their faces as they crack up, the hitting their legs and then falling over, clutching their stomachs as they convulse in laughter; oh.my.gosh :)))

We started reading Roald Dahl's The BFG, and the twins are in love. This morning we came across the BFG speaking for the first time, and his poor grammar left them in giggles and smirks. Then we came across 'human beans', 'telly telly bunkum box' and 'radio squeaker', and that was it: the stomach clutching, hitting and rolls on the bed just wouldn't stop. I was cracking up watching them, and just thinking, alhumdolillah. For them, for their innocence and wonder, for their growing up. 

Laughing together is such a great thing. I keep telling H that we don't laugh together as much as we should. Apart from the endorphins that laughing brings, it is such a great feeling to share a joke together, and remember it later :)

charlie and the chocolate factory bliss

i bought charlie and the chocolate factory for the twins in april, thinking that their summer vacation would be a good time begin a chapter book with them. sadly, they were not interested at all! they found the chapters long and too complex, and simply could not sit still or engaged enough. so i put the book away in disappointment.

last month, they went to watch a roald dahl documentary on a school trip, and came home going on about roald dahl, the bfg, and charlie. so a couple of weeks ago, i took out the book again and they insisted i read it to them. this time, they are hooked! they are so eager to read new chapters, they talk to each other about the characters and events, and they bring up random things from the book in relation to daily events :)) i am ecstatic! i love their excitement and anticipation, and i love seeing them process new words and information. i even don't mind the gazillion questions they have!

reading charlie with them brings back wonderful childhood reading memories, and i cannot wait to read harry potter, the famous five and other books with them!

poetry

when i started searching for a poem for the twins' school recital, i was amazed at the amount of awesome poetry out there. i should not have been amazed really, but i had never given children's poetry much thought or time before. i can't remember having much to do with poetry until i was in my teens.. kipling's 'if' was my first favorite poem!

in the end, i went with 'be glad your nose is on your face' by jack prelutsky, as it seemed the right length, and would amuse the boys, i felt. and it did! the first few times i read it to them resulted in peals of laughter at specific lines. oh how i wanted to bottle up those moments and sounds!

i decided then that i must immediately find a good poetry collection for them.. recommendations are welcome! i should also read poetry for myself more often.. rupi kaur was a great start!

now we are six

the twins turned six at the end of last month, and they had their first birthday party to celebrate! (earlier we just had small celebrations at home with cake, but this time i couldn't get away with that :P)

i was SOOO stressed out before the party, while the kids were super excited. anyways, it's over now and the kids had fun, so it's all good :) 

  

a week after their party, i found this lovely cute poem by a a milne, while i was looking for something for their poetry recital:           

Now We Are Six

When I was One, I had just begun. 
When I was Two, I was nearly new. 
When I was Three I was hardly me. 
When I was Four, I was not much more. 
When I was Five, I was just alive. 
But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever, 
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.

even though it was too short for their recital, i taught it to them anyway, and they enjoyed it :) 

ah, my babies are six! they understand so much and know so much, and are learning complex things like subtraction and body parts and the solar system. they have also finished memorizing the 30th separah of the quran, alhumdolillah! i am in awe at these tiny humans who live with me :)) and i terribly miss their babyness and babbling and cuddles.

happy ramadan

as usual, this post comes late. i almost didn't write it, but i wanted to record what a lovely month we all had, so here goes.

eid was a few days ago, and the month leading up to it was one of the most spiritual and productive ramadans i have had in a lonnng time! first off, i sent the twins to sit with H in the men's section, so i was no longer relegated to the kids' area, and could actually pray namaz in the masjid. we would go early enough for me to pray quran, listen to the bayan and pray all the namaz! and i could do all this in PEACE, without shushing the kids, or refereeing them, or dragging them back to my masallah; pure bliss!

the hafiz who had come this year was awesome. he was young and passionate and driven, and he drove everyone else into doing things we had long forgotten/given up. not only did the twins continue their hifz over their summer vacation, but i did my own hifz, and H attended a workshop on proper quran recitation, alhumdolillah.

amazingly, none of us got sick this time, so we were all on track for fasting and going to masjid. alhumdolillah!

the twins sat quietly with H, listened to whatever was going on around them, had fun pre and post dinner with their friends. i also enjoyed having friends to sit with for dinner. even my MIL was happy sitting on a chair this year.

may next ramadan be just as peaceful and blessed, inshallah!

preschool graduation

at five, the twins have now officially finished with preschool, and will start grade one in june! wow. how time flies. when i think of them starting playgroup, so many milestones ago, they seem so grown up now.

attending their preschool graduation was fun. all the kids were so happy to wear their tiny caps and gowns, waving their rolled up certificates!

the twins have learnt and grown a lot, especially this past year. i am particularly happy with a's progress; he has become so much more confident and open since being separated from his twin. i hope their next school year is just as rewarding and fun for them, inshallah!

twins' first school picnic and my ferrero rocher shake

the twins went on their first school picnic/outing yesterday, and they had a ball, alhumdolillah. they were excited and looking forward to it for days, and they were up instantly yesterday morning, all ready to go (if only they would wake up like that everyday). it was their first time to be out without us for most of the day, but i am sure they hardly noticed. m said he had a great 'adventure' :) may they continue to find adventure in all of life's moments. 

a left his water bottle somewhere, and he came and told me that 'please pray i get it back'. i love the fact that he thought of prayer. i encourage them to give thanks for their day before they sleep.. i will try tweaking this now by getting them to find one specific thing they are thankful for each night..

**
their day-long outing meant that i was able to have a leisurely and scrumptious lunch (the highlight being a super rich ferrero rocher shake- i am still drooling!) with two lovely friends; alhumdolillah! it was a lovely time, and will most likely be my highlight of the month :)

twins catch up

i am not sure when this happened exactly, but the twins are little people now, with distinct personalities. a few months ago, m told me he did not want to dress like a anymore. i was heartbroken. together with the emergence of distinct personalities comes severe sibling rivalry. one twin is clearly more dominating and assertive, which works in his favour. as a parent, i am left reeling, wondering how to protect and empower the more passive sibling. oh, the curve keeps getting steeper!

i am very thankful that i separated them in school this year; i can see so much improvement in a. according to m's teacher, his academic development is progressing in proportion to his mischief! 

they started madressah this year, and they seem to be enjoying it and doing well. when i went to pick them up on their first day, their teacher said their english was excellent; still not sure if that was a compliment or not! now of course they speak in ld there. they have many friends in the masjid now, which makes going there a little daunting for me! until last ramadan, people were still telling me how good and quiet the twins were at the masjid.. unfortunately, all good things come to an end. now, everyone is surprised at how much masti (mischief) they get up to, sigh. 

their hifz (memorizing the quran) progress is also outstanding, mashallah. 

overall, they are healthy, happy and energetic boys. i wish for quiet at times, and wonder at their selective hearing, but otherwise, alhumdolillah. my next target: making them eat on their own, inshallah!

time in!

several months ago, i was shocked that i hadn't blogged in over a year! i went through all my posts on the twins, and i was so happy that i had some record of their growing up and my parenting journey. i immediately resolved to start posting again, so that i could read and reminisce as they grew older. 

and of course, months passed and i still didn't get around to blogging.

today is a new day however, and hopefully, i will be able to periodically keep up with the posts. there are so many things i want to say, to record, so that i can look them up later, so that the twins will have some notion of their early years.

i am currently reading goodbye, vitamin, which includes diary remnants a dad kept of his daughter growing up, which he shares with her when she is an adult:

Today, while I was trying to teach you to swim, you asked how deep the pool was. When I said four feet, you looked incredulous, and said, Whose feet!

...We'd asked you to be polite, so you said, "No more please, it's horrible thank you."

i want to be able to do that too. (i hope this blog is still around at that time!!) the things the twins say are simply marvelous, and i wish i could record all of them!  

milestones

My babies are learning to write. For the past two years, I have watched them scribble and color and scribble. On paper, books, walls, doors. Ever since they held their first magic slates in their hands, they have been fascinated by being able to scribble. They learnt to hold a pencil/crayon early on, by themselves. I have spent countless hours drawing pictures for them to marvel over/colour in. And then suddenly, yesterday, A takes out one of his school books, and starts writing 1 in the empty boxes. He finished the page in a matter of minutes, and I only needed to erase two of the boxes for him to redo. I was stunned. When did he learn this? How did he get so responsible? 

Later in the evening I was playing Ruzzle on my phone. M took the phone from me, wanting to ‘play’ as well. And he started sounding out the letters to me. I spent a few frustrating months earlier trying to get them to read out the alphabet, but they never cooperated. Their nursery teacher assured me they knew their letters, so I just let it go. 

Suddenly, I find they know their numbers and letters, they are beginning to write, and they can finally color pictures without going out of the boundaries. Wow! I am thrilled and proud and grateful for all these milestones :))

kinds of smart

Reading this post on different kinds of smart made me laugh. It reminded me of the first time I had to apply for a travel visa.. i was going to Egypt for undergrad, and I nearly went to the embassy without my passport, because never having made my own travel arrangements until then, i didn’t realize the visa application needed to be submitted TOGETHER with my passport :P

That incident raised a lot of laughter, especially from my dad. It was funny, and it did not make me not smart. I lived in Egypt for four years, did a whole lot of other stuff, and I never felt not smart. Until I moved to India. The first time I used an ATM here, I had no idea that I had to remove my card immediately after sliding it in the slot, in order for the machine to function. So I just stood there with my card inside, like I would in HK and all the other countries where I had used ATM machines. The situation did not incite laughter, but just comments on how I did not even know how to use an ATM machine. There were many other such incidents, all of which left me feeling quite low on self esteem. Even today, I think only my twins see me as an authority on anything, and their certainty is great soul balm :)

Alhumdolillah for the twins, and for the small online community (work, friends and family) that keeps me sane and my self esteem topped up!

Speaking of the twins, their smartness and the way their minds work totally fascinates me. My conversation with one of them yesterday-

M: Mumma, are you old? [old right now refers to people the age of his grandma]

Me: Not so old..

M: Will you become old?

Me: Yes, slowly, not right now..

M thinks for a minute, then suddenly gets a little panicked, and says: No, don't become old, if you become old, then who will be my mumma??! 

i love my boys :)

#microblog mondays

the twins' first movie

we took the twins to the cinema to watch jungle book.. so far, i have been adamant about keeping them away from the cinema- in india, it is perfectly normal to bring newborn and older babies to watch movies, usually bollywood flicks. kids here are also generally allowed to watch whatever tv shows adults are watching at home.

our friends were taking their nearly 4-year-olds to watch jungle book, and without doing any research into the movie, we agreed to join them. sigh. my boys were not happy. the first movie that i saw as a kid in the cinema was 'home alone', when i was 9/10. i remember that being a wonderful experience, and i wanted the same for my kids! i didn't think i would wait until the boys were 9 to take them to the cinema, but this was definitely too early. and the movie itself was scary for them, although i am now asked to tell them about mowgli every dinner time!

what was your/your kids' first movie experience like? and what are your tv rules?

homemade costumes!

i made fancy dress costumes for the first time ever! it was fun! and not as difficult as i expected. of course, they would not have been possible without google, and other expert moms who had shared their crafty ideas online; thank you :))

the twins' summer break starts soon, so i should find more crafty things that they can help me with..

#microblog mondays

the beginning of the end..

m’s best friend has been sabotaged.. in a bid to get him to stop sucking his thumb, H applied some anti-sucking lotion on it while he was asleep at night. m woke up a couple of times asking for water, and finally told me that there was a ‘smell’ somewhere.. this morning he had the most piteous look on his face, his mouth all down turned and quivering, unable to figure out what had suddenly happened to his thumb and why there was an awful taste in his mouth.

I had to physically stop myself from hugging him, wiping off the medicine and telling him everything was fine. Sigh. I may be a bigger wuss than him! What will I do later, when bad things out of my control upset him??!

#microblog mondays

 

topography: paper versus ebooks

over the weekend, we took the kids to a bookstore after eons (i usually buy books for the twins on my own). i let them sit on the floor and go through all the children's books, while i selected a couple of story collections for them. in the midst of this, H wondered whether it was necessary to buy yet more books for them (they do have a fair few books, i know :P, and books are far from cheap here) when i could simply download stories for them on my kindle or phone (H has a few such stories on his phone, and the twins love them). my immediate response was that paper books in NO WAY can be replaced by technology, particularly for young kids.

i love books. i love to read. and, since moving to india, i love my kindle, because it is a means for me to read; without public libraries and second hand book stores that sell literary fiction (david mitchell, kate atkinson, sara gruen, linda grant etc), ebooks on the kindle were the only alternative i had. plus, living in a tiny apartment, there is no possibility of recreating a library for myself here.

intuitively, i know there is a difference between how i read a paper book, and an ebook. without holding the book in my hands, feeling its weight, turning the pages one by one or a few at a time to look for something in particular, my reading experience is different. i do not recall specific incidents/quotes from ebooks as well as i could from real books.

after this brief conversation with H, i did some googling, and i found this wonderful article that totally sums up my experience, with lots of further research and information. read it!

my favourite parts:

people report that when trying to locate a particular piece of written information they often remember where in the text it appeared. We might recall that we passed the red farmhouse near the start of the trail before we started climbing uphill through the forest; in a similar way, we remember that we read about Mr. Darcy rebuffing Elizabeth Bennett on the bottom of the left-hand page in one of the earlier chapters. 

In most cases, paper books have more obvious topography than onscreen text. An open paperback presents a reader with two clearly defined domains—the left and right pages—and a total of eight corners with which to orient oneself. A reader can focus on a single page of a paper book without losing sight of the whole text: one can see where the book begins and ends and where one page is in relation to those borders. One can even feel the thickness of the pages read in one hand and pages to be read in the other. Turning the pages of a paper book is like leaving one footprint after another on the trail—there's a rhythm to it and a visible record of how far one has traveled. All these features not only make text in a paper book easily navigable, they also make it easier to form a coherent mental map of the text. 

In contrast, most screens, e-readers, smartphones and tablets interfere with intuitive navigation of a text and inhibit people from mapping the journey in their minds. A reader of digital text might scroll through a seamless stream of words, tap forward one page at a time or use the search function to immediately locate a particular phrase—but it is difficult to see any one passage in the context of the entire text... the screen only displays a single virtual page: it is there and then it is gone. Instead of hiking the trail yourself, the trees, rocks and moss move past you in flashes with no trace of what came before and no way to see what lies ahead. 

"The implicit feel of where you are in a physical book turns out to be more important than we realized," says Abigail Sellen of Microsoft Research Cambridge in England and co-author of The Myth of the Paperless Office... At least a few studies suggest that by limiting the way people navigate texts, screens impair comprehension.

i will ply the twins with as many books as i can :) there are many advantages of e-reading and there are lovely apps for kids, which i am happy for them to make use of, but not as a replacement for paper books. the joy of watching them turn the pages of their books, move back and forth to ask questions and confirm something, is something that technology does not (yet?) inspire.  

#microblog mondays
 

thanksgiving

after climbing into his school bus, m will turn around without fail, wave at me and say 'bye mumma', with the sweetest grin, before ambling off to his seat. his enthusiasm is infectious, and i always wave off the bus with a responding smile.. that moment always elicits an 'alhumdolillah for these two beautiful blessings in my life'.. the smile carries me home, until i am back to the grind.

this past weekend i realized that i would not be able to carry the twins for much longer. tall, their legs already reach my knees when they are in my arms. carrying them since birth, i cannot fathom what this means right now.. sure, all kids outgrow being carried, but i did not expect this moment to come so soon. i still have some time, and i will be more conscious about it.. if i could just pause time a little..

**

H and i have started taking sabaq (religious classes).. not only am i happy for myself, but i am excited to share this religious journey with my spouse. i see it as a way to grow, individually and as a couple. Getting closer to allah is surely the purpose of this life, and doing that together with my partner is bliss.

#microblog mondays

 

enjoying the moment

Since the twins, I find it quite difficult to live in the moment. While I have always been the kind of person who post analyzes everything, the twins have triggered a crazy loop of constant to do and worry lists. I also find it hard to just overlook the kids' crankiness and tantrums and enjoy myself.. This was particularly the case on our recent five day trip to Goa.  traveling with kids is hard, traveling with kids and another family requires even more juggling and patience and good humour.

Now, back home and in my own space, I will say that the trip was an overall success, with equal amounts of laughter and crankiness (kids’). In the moments of crankiness however, I was wondering why on earth we thought this might be a good idea..

Now I fondly recall the beautiful beaches, the sunsets, the kids laughter as they splashed in the pool or jumped at the waves in the sea.. the crying, the tantrums, the throwing up are just minor blips on a huge landscape.. why is it that I cannot see that when I am in that moment??

With my twins being three, I can foresee that this will be the case in many many more future trips. So what can I do to enjoy myself more in the moment??

#microblog mondays

 

the twins and memory

thankfully, the twins love reading and listening to stories. they love their picture books, and their story books. i may get bored of telling them the same story 50 gazillion times, but not them. i make up random, short anecdotes (aka stories) while feeding them, and they soak them up. to the extent that i can no longer miss out a single word, or replace it with another. if i don't say it in the exact same way that they remember, they scream and get upset. which makes me marvel at their memory.. they must have over 20 story books, all of which they seem to know by heart. and another 10 stories or so that i randomly made up for them.. i wonder at which point they will start forgetting stuff..

i pray quran surahs to them, and other qasidas, and they pick it all up so fast! they are like little sponges.. alhumdolillah! i wish that this ability of theirs to instantly remember stuff would last throughout school.. it would be so useful in learning history dates, the periodic table, etc etc :P

#microblog mondays

the end of playgroup

today is the last day of playgroup for the twins. i am so sad. more sad because they have no idea.. they cannot comprehend that it is the end of an era, that the teachers and friends that they are so fond of, grew into, will no longer be a part of their daily routine.

as a kid, i hated the end of the school year. saying goodbye and change were not my strong suits. i see that it will not be any better this time around. in fact, it might be even worse, as now i will feel the angst on behalf of my boys. ugh.

the twins have come a long way since the start of playgroup.. i am sure they will (eventually) be fine in nursery come june, but.. my heart is still sore at the thought of them coming and asking me where their old teachers and friends are.

parenting is hard.