Reading in the lockdown

When social distancing first began, and there were indications of a lockdown happening, I could not read. I had a few book samples on my Kindle, but I simply could not focus on any of them, or decide what would be my next purchase. For me, that was not only an indication of how stressed I was, but also another stressor. I then came across an article saying that peace of mind was essential to reading, and that calmed me a little (why do we always need someone else to tell us what we already know? And why does that make us feel more validated?!). Deciding that light, feel good books were the way to go in these crazy times, I started reading Ayesha At Last, by Uzma Jalaluddin. It was nice to read about a Muslim protagonist, who wears hijab and yet is not ultra conservative or a pushover, or any other stereotype. It was a short, cute, read, 3 stars. I then read The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters by Balli Kaur Jaswal. Reading Indian authors/authors of Indian descent is always nice, although I do not read so many of them. The Shergill Sisters was a good read, and it brought back fond memories of my high school Sikh friend. The plot was good, the characters were interesting and the prose was good -all in all, 3.5 stars.

I am now reading Yes No Maybe So, which is a cute YA read. Is it strange to be nearing 40, and still enjoying YA fiction? I hope not. The whole age thing confuses me, I have to say. I forever feel that I am stuck at 23. Even though my boys are now 7, I hardly consider myself a practiced mom. In fact, I largely feel that the roles of wife, daughter, mother are ones that I am still learning. 

**
Another good thing to come out of this lockdown was the zoom calls with my high school friends. I hadn’t seen most of them in over 10 years. It was nice to reconnect with these girls, who had once been such an important part of my life. I do hope we manage to stay in touch better now, inshallah.

Similarly, z and I have been meaning to call each other for ever, but the timings never worked. Coronavirus lets us chat more often, with our schedules more home bound now, so for that, alhumdolillah.

laughter is the best medicine

The twins' laughter is music to my soul. I want to bottle it up and just keep listening. The expressions on their faces as they crack up, the hitting their legs and then falling over, clutching their stomachs as they convulse in laughter; oh.my.gosh :)))

We started reading Roald Dahl's The BFG, and the twins are in love. This morning we came across the BFG speaking for the first time, and his poor grammar left them in giggles and smirks. Then we came across 'human beans', 'telly telly bunkum box' and 'radio squeaker', and that was it: the stomach clutching, hitting and rolls on the bed just wouldn't stop. I was cracking up watching them, and just thinking, alhumdolillah. For them, for their innocence and wonder, for their growing up. 

Laughing together is such a great thing. I keep telling H that we don't laugh together as much as we should. Apart from the endorphins that laughing brings, it is such a great feeling to share a joke together, and remember it later :)

the other americans

I finished Kate Atkinson's Big Sky, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I have now started The Other Americans by Laila Lalami, which I am also thoroughly enjoying so far :) I am a sucker for novels that use different chapters to voice the perspectives of different characters, and Lalami is doing this particularly well. I was surprised to realize that Lalami was also the author of The Moor's Account, which I simply could not get into. The Other Americans is completely different, set in contemporary America. I am also a sucker for the immigrant experience, for many different reasons. One of the chapters was titled 'Maryam', and when I showed it to the twins, their amazement and joy was so nice to see :) Even at the ripe age of seven, they have so many firsts to still experience, and I am so thankful to witness these with them.

big sky

Jackson Brodie is back :)) After nine years! I have just started reading 'Big Sky', and am already loving it (of course). In particular, I am loving Brodie's caustic discussions in his head, mostly with his ex wife Julia.

I started reading Kate Atkinson while in high school, so reading her novels always brings back many memories and the whole ESF school-British teachers-British English ambience. 

I will savour this book and probably reread a couple of the older Brodie novels when I am done. It is only a quarter way into the novel that the (first?) crime appears, which just makes the novel that much easier to savour and enjoy. Atkinson does not write fast paced thrillers; her prose, humour and character development engage you to the extent that you could forget this is a mystery novel. Brodie reminds me a little of Cormoran Strike, and I do hope another Strike novel is coming soon. (I have to admit that Lethal White was not one of my favourites however..).

charlie and the chocolate factory bliss

i bought charlie and the chocolate factory for the twins in april, thinking that their summer vacation would be a good time begin a chapter book with them. sadly, they were not interested at all! they found the chapters long and too complex, and simply could not sit still or engaged enough. so i put the book away in disappointment.

last month, they went to watch a roald dahl documentary on a school trip, and came home going on about roald dahl, the bfg, and charlie. so a couple of weeks ago, i took out the book again and they insisted i read it to them. this time, they are hooked! they are so eager to read new chapters, they talk to each other about the characters and events, and they bring up random things from the book in relation to daily events :)) i am ecstatic! i love their excitement and anticipation, and i love seeing them process new words and information. i even don't mind the gazillion questions they have!

reading charlie with them brings back wonderful childhood reading memories, and i cannot wait to read harry potter, the famous five and other books with them!

'children of blood and bone' and other books

i loved the movie black panther. H might have actually enjoyed it more than me, saying that it was 'much more than the other captain america films'. and it was; not only was the all black cast long due, but the characters were good and real, and the plot was more than superhero action. 

i was hence excited to read children of blood and bone, for various reasons -black characters, magic, a new series to look forward to! and the novel did not disappoint. i absolutely loved all of it! in fact, i was surprised that i had not heard of it until z told me she was reading it.. i hope the next novel in the series will not be too long a wait, and i am also excited to watch the movies!!

following that, i read imbolo mbue's behold the dreamers, also a good read. 

i just finished we never asked for wings, which was a lighter read. being a mom, it was interesting to read about a mother who initially let her own mom take care of her kids, and then see her journey towards becoming a real parent. it was also sobering to read about those who live at the edge or even outside the 'system', which is something mbue's novel focuses on as well. 

kristin hannah's 'the great alone' is my next read, and hopefully it will turn out to be just as awesome as my last few novels :)

reading challenge

for the past few years, i have been using goodreads to record my reading activity. i have also been taking the goodreads reading challenge of reading a certain number of books annually. 

today i came across this different kind of reading challenge, which totally piqued my interest. several years ago i had decided to read only books by authors of color, to broaden my horizons, as well as do my tiny bit in supporting their work. that was definitely a good experience, and i think this reading challenge of choosing particular books will also be fun and interesting. i haven't decided yet which prompts i will choose, but here are some that i like:

-a book set in a country that fascinates you
-a book published the year you graduated
-a book by two authors
-a book set at sea
-a book with alliteration in the title

for more prompts, and a group to join, visit popsugar.

still me

i have just finished reading two lovely books, which makes me so happy. not just that the books were good, but that i was able to read two books in a row, that were just what i wanted to read. in fact, this is probably what makes the experience even sweeter; it is not always easy to find the perfect book to read for a particular moment!

first i read 'the one in a million boy' by monica wood, and i totally wondered why i had never heard of it before, or seen it on any goodreads/amazon recommendation lists! i loved reading about the boy, who is not named throughout the novel, as well as the 104-year-old woman he was helping. it reminded me a lot of britt-marie was here (without backman's humour). these days i find myself enjoying reading about old people.. (enough said).

immediately afterwards i started reading still me by jojo moyes, the third in the louisa clark series. i enjoyed it far more than after you, which i found a little sad and wallowing. me before you is still the best, but perhaps that is simply because it was the introduction of louisa and will, two fascinating characters. aside from the novel itself, i like the name: still me. the themes of immigrants, of not belonging, of always being torn between different homes, identities and cultures, fluctuating between different selves; these are all aspects that i have felt pretty much most of the past decade, in varying degrees. most recently, i have lamented to friends that my kids will never know the me that they knew, the me of cairo, the me of ahrc. for the twins, i am just mumma, which is an identity built recently, and devoid of so much of my past lives..

their response, and louisa's in 'still me', reminds me that i will always be 'me', made up of many different facets. and that i can be whichever me i want!

goodbye, vitamin

i finished reading rachel khong's goodbye, vitamin. it was nice, a light, short read. the writing style was very stream-of-consciousness, which was a refreshing difference from the usual beginning-middle-end novels. also, i was particularly heartened to read about a 30-something character who is as clueless as a 20-something. she does not have a marriage, home, career and two kids. as someone who is forever bemused that i am no longer 23, and constantly wondering what i have accomplished in my twenties and thirties, it was nice to read about someone smart and good, but who doesn't have life all figured out and wrapped up in shiny paper.

apocalyse and station eleven

station eleven by hilary st john mandel was a very interesting read. mandel's writing is lovely, and i am definitely going to check out more of her books (so glad she has written several other novels!). i haven't read sci-fi and end-of-the-world books since i was a teenager, and station eleven was a good post apocalypse novel in the sense that it didn't focus much on sci-fi elements. having said that, i would have been interested in the book exploring further how the world went from here to there in such a short time. however, the book focuses more on individual characters, most of whom were quite engaging.

i am always struck by how fast technology is evolving, and the book underlined that as well. i have only owned a smartphone for the past six years, and yet, now it seems well nigh impossible to function without one. i went through school, university and a good part of my working life without smartphones, without whatsapp, facebook, google and wikipedia. my kids on the other hand, have yet to hold a camera in their hands; the phone is their camera, encyclopedia, radio and communication device all in one.

some days ago, feeling nostalgic, i took out my uni photo album and was looking through the pictures. i had to laugh at how itchy my fingers were to 'enlarge' everyone's faces :P

an ordinary life

Some days ago, I was thinking of book recommendations for my 16 year old niece.. I tried to remember what I was reading at her age, and although I came up with jane austen, nancy drew, little women, I am sure that I read much of this earlier. No one suggested stuff for me to read at that time, I just went into the school library and browsed for stuff.. and usually found lots of things to interest me. My niece does not have this option in India (libraries here are very different to what one would expect. Sigh). 

At the same time, I think everyone has their own book journey. Like people, I think that books come into your life at a time you need them.. for this reason, the books that I recommend may not appeal to my niece at all. Regardless, I will still insist that she at least try austen, judy blume, john green, paulo coelho.

The trip down memory lane also reminded me of one of the nicest, most meaningful compliments i had gotten: my passion and enthusiasm in discussing books inspired others to read too! I recall thinking that I lived a small, ordinary life, with no great feats. I was no role model material, but it was nice to know that I had inspired one person, at one time, to do something :) 

#microblog mondays

fangirl

I just finished Rainbow Rowell’s Fangirl, in a quick two day stretch. It was lovely! The book was light, but good. The characters and plot just made me want to immerse myself in their world and never get out. The main girl, Cath, she is a writer. And her descriptions of why she writes, how she feels when she is writing, is how I feel when I read! (why oh why doesn't someone want to pay me to read?!!)

Why do I write? Cath tried to come up with a profound answer… 
To be somewhere else… 
To get free of ourselves 

And it was doubly awesome, because I picked up Fangirl after three aborted books. After I finished sacred games by Vikram Chandra, I was totally off my game in knowing what to read. Then I had headaches and dizziness issues, which meant I couldn’t read much anyways. All the light we cannot see by Anthony Doerr is one of the most awesome books ever, a book that I will recommend to everyone, one of those oh-my-god-you-have-to-read-this-at-some-point-in-your-life books. So I thought I would try another one of his novels, amazing grace. But I just could not fathom it at all. The prose, the plot; none of it made sense. Then I tried human traces by Sebastian Faulks, which had been sitting dormant in my kindle for at least a couple of years. I like Faulks’ writing (a week in December and birdsong are my favourite novels of his), but I am not into the subject of human traces –psychiatry. So I gave up after a couple of chapters. Next was zemindar by Valerie Fitzgerald, which all the reviews said was like an m m kaye novel –well, m m kaye was my absolute favourite for a few teenage years, so I thought why not. But I couldn’t get past the first few pages! (I am hoping that if I pick it up again in another frame of mind, I will enjoy it..) Finally, after much upset at not having something great on hand to read, I got fangirl. And it was exactly what I needed. It just sucked me in, whirled me around in its lovely world, and then threw me back out again :) 

I found the whole fanfiction thing interesting. I know it exists, but that is really all I know. I learnt of its existence during the harry potter era.. I found it weird-fascinating-cool that people were so into harry potter that they were writing up stuff themselves and having conventions and whatnot. I love harry potter, and I love discussing the books and movies, but that is really it. I may dream of going to Hogwarts, but no further. I didn’t want to read what other harry potter stuff people were writing –j k rowling’s work was enough for me. So I found cath and her addiction to the fictional characters of simon and baz fascinating. That she would rather write about them, then turn in something original for one of her classes –wow. But most of all, It was nice to be immersed. Why else do I read, if not to get caught up somewhere else? I will happily play host to cath, Reagan, levi and others in my head for the next few days :))

#microblog mondays
 

when books don't fit

i finally started reading purple hibiscus by chimamanda adichie last night, after three days of waffling over what to read. i HATE it when that happens. it does not happen very often (alhumdolillah!), but when i can't figure out what i want to read, when no books appeal to me, when nothing seems to fit, then i am very very upset. upset for two reasons i guess -first, because i have nothing to read, and second, because nothing is speaking to me, everything is making me feel blah!

this is like when i cannot figure out what to wear -again, i don't have this problem very frequently, as i am quite a decisive person. or, maybe decisive is not the word. i just know what i like, and i know when i feel like wearing it. i don't keep clothes that i don't like, and the stuff i have, i've had for a while! but when those days come along, when no rida speaks to me, when they all seem blah and ugh, then i am a miserable person.

clearly, not wanting to read any book or wear any of my ridas is a symptom of my mood. it is not that there aren't awesome books and clothes available.. this can apply to food as well, although not much.. but how interesting that this occurs.. i should pay more attention to whether such moods leak into other areas of my life..

#microblog mondays

circus!

my introduction to the circus as a child came with enid blyton's 'come to the circus' -fenella, aunt lou, bobo and pretty much all the characters were interesting/intriguing. the 'big top', the caravans, the animals and their trainers; it was a whole new world full of adventure and magic that i loved losing myself in.

then came the great moscow circus in hong kong, when i was slightly older (but i have no recollection of age to be honest). we went to see this awesome performance for several years, and i was in love. the trapeze artists were my absolute favorite (and still are). the gorgeous costumes, the glitter, the anticipation before each incredible act; i carry all these with me until today.

for some years after, i forgot about the circus. while at university, i read john irving's 'a son of the circus', which was much darker than my childhood circus fantasies. i recently read sara gruen's 'water for elephants', which was less dark, and a great read. next on my list of circus novels is erin morgenstern's 'the night circus', which is meant to be some kind of fantasy novel, and sounds intriguing.

last week, there was a local circus showing nearby, which we took the twins to. they enjoyed some of the acts (those with animals), but were far from thrilled with the idea of the circus. it was a let down for me as well, after my awesome memories of the great moscow circus, as well as the circus books that i so enjoyed. next time i plan my trip to hong kong, i must look in to the moscow circus -they now have a 'circus on ice' show as well!

the circus world is one that surely draws in all children.. and many adults. i can't wait to introduce the kids to blyton's 'come to the circus', and other novels, and read more circus novels myself :)

#microblog mondays
 

one amazing thing

i just finished reading 'one amazing thing' by chitra divakaruni, and i really enjoyed it. i was doubly happy as after 'mistress of spices', which i totally LOVED, i hadn't read anything of hers that matched up. while 'one amazing thing' is not in the same league as 'mistress of spices', it was good. and it made me think about which stories matter to me, which stories are the pivots of my life, upon which other stories are built..

before reading the novel, i read several reviews that questioned the stories shared by a motley group of persons stuck in a visa office during an earthquake. the reviewers apparently did not find anything 'amazing' about the stories shared by the characters. what is amazing is surely subjective.. and probably largely dependent upon circumstances, your mood at the moment, how you feel about the persons around you and what you are willing to share with strangers.

also, our stories, along with us, will change. what i might have shared as a pivotal event while at university, may not be the same story i will share today. the stories i discuss with fellow moms will differ to those i discuss with childhood friends. the embarrassing event i could share with a complete stranger may not make it to any other ears.

anyone who ever made up stories fellow train/bus passengers, who wondered about the lives of those sitting besides them in cafes/libraries or those shopping alongside them at the supermarket, will enjoy this book :)

#microblog mondays
 

2015 in books

signing in to goodreads today, it showed me my year in books -i loved it! (the best part was probably seeing all the covers of the books i'd read, which i wasn't able to see on my kindle!!) they had stats like shortest/longest book, the most popular book on goodreads, the highest/lowest rated, and so forth. some of the books i had forgotten that i had read in 2015, and it was just a nice reminder.. each book brought back different feelings/thoughts..

goodreads is a great website to keep track of my books, and to come across new ones! yay :)

#microblog mondays
 

topography: paper versus ebooks

over the weekend, we took the kids to a bookstore after eons (i usually buy books for the twins on my own). i let them sit on the floor and go through all the children's books, while i selected a couple of story collections for them. in the midst of this, H wondered whether it was necessary to buy yet more books for them (they do have a fair few books, i know :P, and books are far from cheap here) when i could simply download stories for them on my kindle or phone (H has a few such stories on his phone, and the twins love them). my immediate response was that paper books in NO WAY can be replaced by technology, particularly for young kids.

i love books. i love to read. and, since moving to india, i love my kindle, because it is a means for me to read; without public libraries and second hand book stores that sell literary fiction (david mitchell, kate atkinson, sara gruen, linda grant etc), ebooks on the kindle were the only alternative i had. plus, living in a tiny apartment, there is no possibility of recreating a library for myself here.

intuitively, i know there is a difference between how i read a paper book, and an ebook. without holding the book in my hands, feeling its weight, turning the pages one by one or a few at a time to look for something in particular, my reading experience is different. i do not recall specific incidents/quotes from ebooks as well as i could from real books.

after this brief conversation with H, i did some googling, and i found this wonderful article that totally sums up my experience, with lots of further research and information. read it!

my favourite parts:

people report that when trying to locate a particular piece of written information they often remember where in the text it appeared. We might recall that we passed the red farmhouse near the start of the trail before we started climbing uphill through the forest; in a similar way, we remember that we read about Mr. Darcy rebuffing Elizabeth Bennett on the bottom of the left-hand page in one of the earlier chapters. 

In most cases, paper books have more obvious topography than onscreen text. An open paperback presents a reader with two clearly defined domains—the left and right pages—and a total of eight corners with which to orient oneself. A reader can focus on a single page of a paper book without losing sight of the whole text: one can see where the book begins and ends and where one page is in relation to those borders. One can even feel the thickness of the pages read in one hand and pages to be read in the other. Turning the pages of a paper book is like leaving one footprint after another on the trail—there's a rhythm to it and a visible record of how far one has traveled. All these features not only make text in a paper book easily navigable, they also make it easier to form a coherent mental map of the text. 

In contrast, most screens, e-readers, smartphones and tablets interfere with intuitive navigation of a text and inhibit people from mapping the journey in their minds. A reader of digital text might scroll through a seamless stream of words, tap forward one page at a time or use the search function to immediately locate a particular phrase—but it is difficult to see any one passage in the context of the entire text... the screen only displays a single virtual page: it is there and then it is gone. Instead of hiking the trail yourself, the trees, rocks and moss move past you in flashes with no trace of what came before and no way to see what lies ahead. 

"The implicit feel of where you are in a physical book turns out to be more important than we realized," says Abigail Sellen of Microsoft Research Cambridge in England and co-author of The Myth of the Paperless Office... At least a few studies suggest that by limiting the way people navigate texts, screens impair comprehension.

i will ply the twins with as many books as i can :) there are many advantages of e-reading and there are lovely apps for kids, which i am happy for them to make use of, but not as a replacement for paper books. the joy of watching them turn the pages of their books, move back and forth to ask questions and confirm something, is something that technology does not (yet?) inspire.  

#microblog mondays
 

difference

We don’t wear shoes in our house. And we live in a country where there are many many places that require you to remove your shoes outside, including doctor clinics, shops, temples, mosques, certain schools/extracurricular classes, and so forth. 

When the twins see pictures of people wearing shoes indoors in their story books, they immediately question this, ask me if this is a ‘bad boy’ because he is lying on his bed with his shoes on, or why the grandpa is wearing shoes while watching tv. 

And so begins the explaining of different cultures, different customs, of difference. 

I know there is a movement to have more diversity in books, for children to be able to relate to the characters that they read about. This is not a bad thing, but I do not recall ever having this issue myself.. I read a lot, and my childhood books were all roald dahl, judy blume, enid blyton. The lack of diversity never bothered me; I was always excited to read about these kids in a different world from my own. I wish the same for my own children. I want books to be their escape, their keys to new places and concepts and traditions (particularly since they are growing up in a place with little ‘difference’, unlike my childhood). 

In the end, the human experience is universal; it is just the environment that differs. 

reading the end first

okay, let me admit that i read the endings of certain books first. i need to know. i simply cannot sit still and enjoy the entire novel, until i know what the end is. i just can't do it. this is not necessary for all novels, not even for mysteries -in fact, i generally don't read the ends of mysteries first (that would just not be fun for me). but last night, i had to read the end of helene wecker's 'the golem and the djinni', before i could peacefully proceed. (i waited until halfway through the novel, so that is me at my most patient). and, i will also admit that i read the end of 'the order of the phoenix' to know who died; there is no way i could have sat through the novel without knowing this ultimate information!

when i was in high school, reading endings first was totally frowned upon. my english teachers would constantly tell me NOT to do that. my friends too would frown upon such behaviour. once i was at university, i could not care less; reading was MY hobby, and i would do it in any manner i desired. normally, i read the ends first if i wish, and i don't think twice about it. but in the case of the golem and the djinni, i tried really hard NOT to do that. at first i was waiting for the two main characters to meet, and surprisingly they met quite far down the novel.. now that they have met, there are suddenly other characters arriving who mean them harm.. and so, i had to know what would happen at the end, i wanted to be sure that everything would be okay. only then could i continue with the twists and turns of the novel.

**
now, if only life were like that. if i had known, so many years ago, that i would marry H, have twins, surely my path would have been different. i would not have suffered so much angst, i would have enjoyed myself more, i would have done so much more prior to meeting H. (or so i would like to believe).

but we don't have this information. and so we muddle along.. some of us are far more adept at this life business than others. i try to take one day at a time and make the most of it, but really, if i were looking back, i am sure i would tell myself that you could have done so much better. sigh.

books, and when you are ready for them

i just finished 'life after life' by kate atkinson, which was another novel that i had started when it first came out, but just couldn’t get into it.. this was a severe disappointment, as atkinson is one of my favourite authors, her ‘behind the scenes at the museum’ being one of my favourite books in school. her later jackson brodie books were also wonderful literary mysteries that i thoroughly enjoyed.

at a loss for reading material, and after one of my friends who doesn’t like her other work told me that she enjoyed this novel, i thought i would give it another try. again, the beginning was slightly off putting, but once i got a little further into it, i was hooked. and now, at the end, i am totally glad i persevered: i feel my world view has expanded, while her descriptions of war time life were great, in britain and in germany. it was also interesting to see the sense that people did not hate germany or the germans, they just hated hitler. i am not sure how historically accurate that is, but it was a change from the way the japanese are portrayed in novels detailing the war situation in america..

some months ago, i read sara gruen’s like water for elephants, which is another novel that i had wanted to read eons ago, but decided was not my cup of coffee. when i finally got around to reading it, i LOVED it, and could not figure out why i had missed out for so long!! this brings to mind a quote i came across by doris lessing while in high school, about reading whatever books catch your fancy, and not worrying about whether they are ‘classics’, or ‘have to read’ books, or whatever. lessing was of the opinion that books came into your life as and when you were ready for them.. this piqued my teenage mind, particularly in the face of my english syllabus, where we ‘had’ to read so and so books..

today, i am a firm believer that books, like people, truly come and open up worlds for you when you are ready.. and you take from these books only that which you can digest. ayn rand’s ‘atlas shrugged’ was a huge revelation to me as a freshman, but i am not sure what i would think of it today :P a friend and i so eagerly read ‘the child that books built’, but were sorely disappointed. i love novels/memoirs about books and how they accompany people on their life journeys, and many a time point them in certain directions. this particular book fell so short of doing this, but the title has always stuck with me. perhaps one day i will detail the books that built me.. :)

any recommendations for future reads are welcome!