while march 8 is meant to be a celebration of women, their potential and their achievements, 100 years after the day was first celebrated, there is much to still be done. women in too many places still live lives of fear, poverty, inequality and repression:
pakistani teenager uzma ayub seeks justice for being gang-raped in captivity for a year
the situation faced by women in bangladesh, burma, india, indonesia, nepal, pakistan and sri lanka
international women’s day history and events
on a more positive note, i’m also posting links to two books: i speak for myself: american women on being muslim and love inshallah: the secret love lives of american muslim women. i came across a cheerful interview with nura maznavi, one of love inshallah’s editors, prompting me to celebrate the achievements of these women, and hope that others are given the opportunity to follow.
08 March 2012
success and failure
“the power is in the balance: we are our successes as much as we are our injuries”i love this quote. it’s from the poisonwood bible by barbara kingsolver, one of my favorite authors. i read it some 10 years ago, but i was reminded of the quote recently while reading a poetry blog.
ten years ago, the quote resonated for totally different reasons than it does now. ten years ago, life was much easier, lighter, not weighted with responsibilities.
being defined by our successes is something that i can live with quite easily (perhaps because my successes are modest and don’t reach the level of winning awards or gaining huge popularity; i am not in any danger of having any ego issues). being defined by my failures/injuries is more of a concern for me though. at this stage of my life, my failures suddenly seem larger than ever, outweighing my successes. many a time, i am not sure i have any successes to my name.
i have come across people who have let their failures embitter them and their view of the world. i do not want to be one of those. i already see my failures marking me, shaping my perspective, leaving me slightly more resigned and indifferent than before.
i must remember to keep a balance. i must remember that failure lies not in falling, but in not getting back up.
i must remember my favourite kipling poem, ‘if’..
13 January 2012
come say hi!
it is apparently, international blog delurking week -this means that those of you who’ve been reading in silence are encouraged to voice out your presence. why? simply because i’d like to know WHO my readers are :). so please, if you’re reading, take an additional few minutes to say hi and introduce yourself. cheers!
12 January 2012
india: rape and clothing
when i first read of andhra pradesh deputy general of police’s comments regarding women’s clothing being an invitation to rape, i was disgusted, but not particularly surprised. the comments responding to the times of india article perhaps surprised me more -who were all these people agreeing with reddy’s comments, and which planet do they come from?
logic is clearly beyond such people, and there is no point in telling them that studies have found that rape has nothing to do with clothing or desire, but is all about control and violence. rapists do not rape women because they are wearing ‘provocative’ clothing that ‘tempts’ them, but because they are sick and need to prove some kind of control over them.
there is similarly no point in asking them to explain why young children, elderly women or women wearing burkas are being raped in india, or how the culture of rural women wearing saris without blouses is more ‘modest’ and ‘appropriate’ than other types of clothing.
i was heartened today however, when i read a kick-ass article by an indian male on the issue, and i had to share it. it is SO worth a read. if only more indian men thought this way.
logic is clearly beyond such people, and there is no point in telling them that studies have found that rape has nothing to do with clothing or desire, but is all about control and violence. rapists do not rape women because they are wearing ‘provocative’ clothing that ‘tempts’ them, but because they are sick and need to prove some kind of control over them.
there is similarly no point in asking them to explain why young children, elderly women or women wearing burkas are being raped in india, or how the culture of rural women wearing saris without blouses is more ‘modest’ and ‘appropriate’ than other types of clothing.
i was heartened today however, when i read a kick-ass article by an indian male on the issue, and i had to share it. it is SO worth a read. if only more indian men thought this way.
05 January 2012
mine is the morning
the light is still mellow, warm and tinted, not yet fully awake. morning has not truly arrived and the streets are still silent, awash in slumber. the house is bathed in a warm, yellow tinge and I sit on the bed, still warm from recent sleep. I like this time a lot, it feels like an extra couple of hours to my day, mine to do with as I wish. fajr is prayed, and there are no other pressing matters to attend do, and the time for work, for real life, is still two hours away. I can have breakfast in bed, I can watch some episodes of house, read my novel, look through photos..
as a child, I never managed to sleep in on weekends, unlike my parents. so I would sit in bed and read, or watch tv. even then, I loved this extra time to myself, always saw it as my secret!
slowwly, the light gets brighter, whiter, the noise outside the window increases, and the clock tells me to get ready for work.. morning has indeed broken, and reality begins!
as a child, I never managed to sleep in on weekends, unlike my parents. so I would sit in bed and read, or watch tv. even then, I loved this extra time to myself, always saw it as my secret!
slowwly, the light gets brighter, whiter, the noise outside the window increases, and the clock tells me to get ready for work.. morning has indeed broken, and reality begins!
02 January 2012
happy 2012
i had a great end to 2011 (thank you, H), a week of friends and family chilling time, and am now looking forward to 2012 -may it be the best year yet for everyone!
i am not a new year resolutions kind of person, but i like the idea of making ‘happy’ resolutions -doing things that make you happy, resolutions that actually excite you, rather than those that you ‘should’ be doing (and actually dread!). creating a list of things that would make me happy? oh wow :)
**
while catching up with an old friend, a college roommate, i found myself pensively reflecting on how it is that much harder to make such close friends now; friends who’ve known me for the past 10 years, friends i’ve lived with, travelled with, cried, laughed, celebrated with. friends who have watched me grow, watched me make my way from x to y and beyond.
when this pensiveness was over, it suddenly struck me that i had the exact same thoughts when i arrived in cairo, at uni, missing my school friends of seven years!! now though, it is my uni friendships that are closer and stronger..
so, perhaps there is still hope! or perhaps some of those old friends may move to bombay.. :P i’ve been lucky, in my one year here, i’ve had several friends and family members visit.. may there be many more such visits in 2012, inshallah!
i am not a new year resolutions kind of person, but i like the idea of making ‘happy’ resolutions -doing things that make you happy, resolutions that actually excite you, rather than those that you ‘should’ be doing (and actually dread!). creating a list of things that would make me happy? oh wow :)
**
while catching up with an old friend, a college roommate, i found myself pensively reflecting on how it is that much harder to make such close friends now; friends who’ve known me for the past 10 years, friends i’ve lived with, travelled with, cried, laughed, celebrated with. friends who have watched me grow, watched me make my way from x to y and beyond.
when this pensiveness was over, it suddenly struck me that i had the exact same thoughts when i arrived in cairo, at uni, missing my school friends of seven years!! now though, it is my uni friendships that are closer and stronger..
so, perhaps there is still hope! or perhaps some of those old friends may move to bombay.. :P i’ve been lucky, in my one year here, i’ve had several friends and family members visit.. may there be many more such visits in 2012, inshallah!
20 December 2011
teaching and learning
mel has written another beautiful post, about parenting. i am sure all my young-parent friends will relate, and so will not-young-parent friends. i was discussing with H just two days ago how difficult it is/must be to raise a child and inculcate the values you want them to grow with. how ultimately, you just never know how they will turn out, what path they will choose. i know of several families where siblings turned out completely different to each other, choosing opposing value sets, despite growing up together, in the same environment, with the same ethics and principles.
i love mel’s Y, such an awesome idea:
one comment to the above post said this,
“It just feels so hard again at each stage because I have to learn. To play catch-up and figure out this new phase. Every time I get a grasp on something, she changes it up. Life changes it up.”
which totally resonated with me. i’ve been feeling like every time i get something figured out, life throws yet another curveball at me. i miss those days when i felt on top of everything, when i GOT IT; the last two years of high school, or the last two years as an undergrad. or even the first few years of work (not the very first year, but two, three, four!). the last few years, and especially this past year, has been a see-saw ride on the learning graph. i would really like to just cruise on the top there..
and this brings to mind one of my favorite ben okri quotes (from astonishing the gods): “The law is simple. Every experience is repeated or suffered till you experience it properly and fully the first time.”
i'm okay with life being one huge lesson; i just want to be a good student though, i want to get it! i'm tired of feeling out of the loop..
i love mel’s Y, such an awesome idea:
It is shorthand for the idea that every single person on this earth has two possible lives — the one she leads and the unfulfilled life that isn’t accessed because of choices she makes. Each decision takes us to a fork, and I want them to take the path that is going to bring them what they desire in life: friends, success in school, a thriving computer company. I make them sit and think about that other fork; that road not taken. The one that takes them far away from everything they think they want, like some secular version of A Christmas Carol.**
one comment to the above post said this,
“It just feels so hard again at each stage because I have to learn. To play catch-up and figure out this new phase. Every time I get a grasp on something, she changes it up. Life changes it up.”
which totally resonated with me. i’ve been feeling like every time i get something figured out, life throws yet another curveball at me. i miss those days when i felt on top of everything, when i GOT IT; the last two years of high school, or the last two years as an undergrad. or even the first few years of work (not the very first year, but two, three, four!). the last few years, and especially this past year, has been a see-saw ride on the learning graph. i would really like to just cruise on the top there..
and this brings to mind one of my favorite ben okri quotes (from astonishing the gods): “The law is simple. Every experience is repeated or suffered till you experience it properly and fully the first time.”
i'm okay with life being one huge lesson; i just want to be a good student though, i want to get it! i'm tired of feeling out of the loop..
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