25 August 2011

rooted in the present

i am realizing that i am rarely fully in the present. i tend to always be anticipating the next thing, the future. last week i was attending a conference that i'd been waiting for for a long time. but instead of being totally present and immersed in it, i found myself spending a lot of time wondering when my cold was going to get better, anticipating my next conversation with H, imagining the food i'd be able to eat in x number of hours, and so on. the conference ended, and i found myself thinking of all the things i should have done. argh.

this is not to say that i just blew off the meeting. i attended all the sessions, took the notes, spoke to people, yadda yadda yadda. however, i did not give 100 percent of myself to all of it. and i think this is the case a lot of the time. i am so easily distracted by so many other things, i spend so much time thinking of what i should've said at any particular instance, or what i wish to accomplish tomorrow/this week that my right now suffers.

this reminds me of how all my early school reports would mention what a hardworking student i was. at seeing this, my dad would invariably ask me, 'just imagine what you could accomplish by truly being hardworking!'

is there a pill i can take to root myself (and my brain) right here, right now?? it would be particuarly useful about now, given that ramadan is drawing to a close, and there is so much prayer and self improvement i have yet to undertake..


Anonymous said...

I wish there were a pill! Sometimes, I find myself realizing that I am looking forward so much to being a mom that I'm wasting this precious time of my marriage when it is just me and the hubby. I need to focus on the now, too!

Ramadan mubarek, btw! (My bestie is from Libya! :))

Anonymous said...

Oh, and hi from ICLW! LOL

Sarah said...

Here from ICLW

I find it hard to live in the present. I am constantly thinking what if I decided to do this and that happens.

Looking back so many trips and experiences were missed because I lived my life thinking what happens if I am pregnant.

I am still doing the same this to this day.

If you figure out a way to keep yourself in the present please let me know!!


You are not alone in this. My counselor has me working on mindfulness, giving all of my attention to even the most mundane thing like doing laundry (no multi-tasking.) And if I get interrupted, she wants me to fully leave the laundry and focus on the other thing (if I choose) or stick with the laundry. Easier said than done, but I think we'll be better off if we keep practicing. (visiting from ICLW)

md said...

thanks everyone for the comments!
glad to know i'm not alone in this :P
and thanks eggsinarow for the ramadan wishes!

michelle, i was thinking the same thing -i need to concentrate better! and yes, all we can do is practice till we get there.

Lavender Luz said...

Belated Ramadan mbarek!

Thank you for addressing mindfulness. It is something that I, too, wish to do more of. What your dad said made me laugh because I say such things to myself!

I'm off to visit the zen link.

Right now :-)