23 April 2010

prayer (and faith)

prayer, for me, seems to resonate most when i am happy. when i am smiling and the sun is shining and i am thankful to be alive, to be part of this world, that is when i feel closest to allah. in fact, when i am thankful, period, is when i feel connected to a greater plan, and when i am spurred to engage more in dua and namaz and quran..

this engagement and connection seems to disappear when i am sad or in pain.. you would think that at these times i would rely more on prayer, but i do not. i tend to be so lost, so distracted, so focused on my physical discomfort, that any spiritual avenues seem non existent. i need to work on this, to cultivate more control and discipline, to focus less on worldly attributes.. perhaps, i also need more faith- it is easier after all, to believe when you are happy..

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