flying by

it's the end of may already!! where is the time flying and why is it always in such a rush?? i want to walk slowly, to savor all the individual moments.. and yet i can barely recall where any given moment begins or ends.. instead of thoroughly being present in the moment, i am simply left with a memory..

memories are good, they are what will keep me going later on, they will remind me of a life well enjoyed, but right now, i want to enjoy my present. i have a list of things i want to do, places to see.. this list came into being much before my india trip, and i was never too bothered with working through it, as i thought i had all the time in the world, and also, because i was happy doing things not on the list, or simply adding to the list. i am still happy with that, but.. what am i really waiting for? is this denial?

if i don't really accept moving on, i most likely will not be able to thoroughly enjoy the present.. as in so many cases though, easier said than done!

[update: i wonder if it's something about the month of may that brings on such introspection; last year at this time i was also looking for a pause button..]