i am confused about the fine line between optimism and/or faith and denial. websites and conversations are inundated with 'stay positive', 'believe things will work out', ‘fake it till you make it’, 'a smiling face will half your sorrows'. which reminded me of the hadith on always keeping a smiling face--of which I cannot recall the exact words right now; if anyone knows it, do share! (and that brought home to me (quite unpleasantly in fact) that praying namaz five times a day is not all that islam expects from me. but me being a poor muslim is not the subject of this post...)
i am not one of those persons who can smile and pretend the world is beautiful when I do not actually feel that way. apart from physically and mentally finding it a challenge, i also see it as deceitful. why should i say i’m fine when i’m not?
on the other hand, i’m rather tired of wallowing. every step i take forward, i stumble two more backward. is it better to sit and cry at my lack of progress and my oh so weary legs, or to rest briefly, smile and move forward yet again? if i have no choice but to remain on the road, then i pick the second option.
perhaps the difference is this- i am not denying my lack of progress and my weariness, just affirming that with patience, faith and yes, a smile, the road will eventually get easier to walk on. if i believe there is a reason for me to be on this road, then i must also believe that the means to walk it are also with me, that this burden is not more than i can bear.
and if this is in fact denial, then hey, I’m faithfully in denial!